Poem 10

I am lying down
And I hear a noise
A usual noise, but
I am not used to it.
The sound of my
Computer going to sleep.
I feel frightened. So I hug
My pillow a little tighter.
I pretend you are there to
Keep all the bad things away.
But in reality,
There is nothing there.
What am I doing?
Absolutely nothing.
What will I do about it?
Absolutely nothing.
Who am I?
Absolutely nothing.
You stopped replying again.
I am feeling lonely.
I do not care.
No, I care.
It has been about 30 minutes.
I am sorry I cannot hold
A conversation. I am not
Good with people
And talking. Social retardation
Is what they like to call it.
I do not care.
I am alone.
I am isolated.
I am sad.
I do not care.
So I will lie down
And I will stay awake.
I am tired but I
Want to stay awake
Just in case you reply.
So I am slapping my face
To keep myself awake.
It hurts but
I do not care.
I need to be here for you.
It is what I am alive for.
I do not care.