lolishit

Today is the fifth day.
You have got to come back today.
You just have to.
You said a few days and
Going past five would
Make it more than a few!
I want to explain what
Not talking to you for
Five days has done to me.
I do not feel anything anymore.
Yes, I still love you but
It is no longer that
Tingly, giggly, heart squeezing
Feeling but more a mental thing.
It is like I learned that I love you.
I just know I love you and
I know that if you die or something
I would die.
When I laugh my eyes do not
Show anymore emotion.
I laughed in the mirror to see.
It is scary.
It happened just last night.
And no, it was not because I was tired.
Because I was not tired.
I am sleeping all the time now.
I slept from
9 PM to 2 AM
And then 2 AM to 9 AM
And I am about to go back for more sleep.
I cannot think straight anymore
And my speech has gotten garbled up.
I have made numerous mistakes
While talking to people at school
And it scares me because
I never make so many mistakes in
So little time with my speech.
I see and hear more people.
It is not just Mariko anymore.
But Mariko is here a lot now.
She is trying to hurt me but
I cannot feel anything.
I hurt myself more.
I felt that.
I hope that when you come back
I will be able to feel again.
When I said I wanted to
Go on in life without feeling anything
I guess I was wrong.
Not feeling anything is
So boring.
And I am lonely but
I feel like
Nothing.
Come back, please.
If you do not come back today
I will hurt myself again.
Each day you do not come back from now
I will hurt myself
Worse and worse and worse.
To the point of suicide.
Help me.
I need you.
Help me.