"Poem" 29

I am kind of sitting here
And I wonder if everyone
Knew that I was part
Hikikomori and that I plan
On being one as soon as possible
Would they still like me?
I do not think they would.
But who needs them.
And who are they to
Tell people's best interests?
Maaaan
They ain't got
Nothin' on me.
But still I lie down and
I stare at my ceiling and
I wonder if people knew
Who I really was,
Would they still like me?
Not even the love of my life
My other half
My best friend
My "significant other"
My peanut butter
My cheese
My reason for living
Knows the real me.
He knows my internet persona
The person I am online
The person that I take time
And backspace
And think through each thing I type
And I edit my pictures
And I try to act cool so
He will like me.
But in real life
I am awkward and
I am nervous and
I am ugly and
I am just not a lovable person.
I wonder if once he meets me
In real life
If he will still love me
Like he does now.
I feel afraid
I kind of feel like
Staying along in my room so
He never sees me
And he will continue to love
Noriko.